I think that it is easier to be a female in the US than to be a male. This is new. Throughout most of history, females have gotten the shaft, pardon the pun. We had no rights outside of being the possession of a man and the mother of his children.
Now, though, I think it is different. See, as a female, I am perfectly free to be feminine and masculine. I can bake cookies and kick ass. I can sew quilts and do all the yard work. My butch side, if anything, makes me more desirable and attractive.
It isn't so easy for men. Let a man show that he has a desire for anything other than sports and hunting and people will sneer. Talk about his feelings? Heaven forbid! Know how to sew on a button? Please! This really pisses me off.
What about the freedom to pursue our own interests, whatever they may be? Why the American desire to label everybody? Why the boxes?
See, I embrace my femininity and my masculinity. I can hem pants AND I can deliver a seriously debilitating side kick. I can bake a scrumptious cake AND I can take a computer apart and put it back together again. Chris can use a circular saw AND he can cook a gourmet meal. He can benchpress 150lbs AND he can arrange flowers.
Yet, all that I can do is accepted, even praised. What Chris can do is questioned. This makes no sense to me.
6 comments:
I hate to say it, but there's still many places/cultures in America where this isn't necessarily true. I know in much of my extended family, a woman who shows any kind of so-called masculine interests would be highly pressured to change her ways. And I know it's not just in the backwoods of East Texas that this is the case.
You and I are lucky that those around us allow us the freedom to be who we want to be. I just wish every woman had that same freedom without the baggage.
Girl~you are picking at an old scab of mine. Here's why...my oldest son. Not too...um, how can I put this gentle like? Well, let's just say he marches to a different beat. He likes Barbies, fashion, long hair (his own), pink and purple, tons of jewelry, girl bands (for their voices, not their bodies) and just ain't so very "boy-ish". He is always trying to get me to buy the silver open toe stiletto heels in the shoe store. We have conversations all the time about how his Dad and I want him to like what he truly likes and be who he truly is but that sometimes folks outside our home may not understand his choices and that he may take some flak for them. God, I hate to have to tell him that. This boy is a laugh riot and tons of fun. But already, the society of his peers cannot seem to be comfortable enough in their own skin to celebrate what lies within the skin of my boy without labeling him, at the very least, "weird". I hope he continues to grow to celebrate both the masculine and the feminine within himself in whichever quantity they exist. And if I ever do need a pair of silver, open-toe stiletto heels...well, I know who I'm taking with me to the store.
P.S. And I use the contents of my husbands toolbox way more than he does, sometimes in my slinky nighty even. ;)
I can do "masculine" things as well, and my husband loves the fact that I am confident and independent enough to do them. He has taught me how to cook many things since we've been married, and I don't consider cooking feminine. ALL of these labelled jobs or hobbies go both ways--artists,chefs,mechanics-- some genders perform better than others. It is a lack of self esteem and confidence that makes folks feel threatened. I am all for being true to yourself! I would hate to think that I had to stroke my husband's ego and not mow the yard or change the headlight in the truck-- just so he doesn't feel threatened! As it is, I can do these things, and he loves me more for being independent and confident enough to be a tomboy and wear a pink ballcap with a rhinestone belt buckle!
this was a great post. I see what you mean.
Me and Mike use to play subconcious games on campus like He would carry his books drawn to his chest and I would carry it by my side and people would always look but not seem to know why! Its funny
What's this? Do I detect a note of what my mother used to call "a real shit disturber" in susangalique? ;)
Fun post.
Feminine qualities often enhance and highlight masculinity--much like the moon in the pitch of a midnight sky.
Chris epitomizes this. His masculine aura is particularly pronounced in all his gentility.
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