It's 3AM and I'm not lonely

I woke up a couple of hours ago thinking about Edward VIII and Wallis Warfield Simpson. I told myself that I should go back to sleep, curled up in the bed for about 30 minutes and it didn't happen so I got up.

I think I have realized why insomnia is kind of okay with me. It's my time. No kids need anything, husband doesn't need anything from me, the phone is not going to ring. As long as I'm quiet and don't wake anybody up, my time is my own. The fact is, I've been "on call" 24/7, for nearly 11 years, since Thumbelina was born. Really, no one but a mother can understand that statement. The "where-are-the-kids-and-what-do-they-need" radar blipped on in the Fall of 1997, and it hasn't been off since.

This covers everything from meeting their basics (nourishment, cleanliness and warmth) to being careful what I watch or read or say around them. In the wee small hours of the morning, I know the babies are fine and will likely sleep for at least a few more hours. Chris is at work and won't be home for a few more hours. The whole wide world assumes I'm fast asleep. So, these middle of the night wanderings are my own little private world, where it's just me and my thoughts.