So, I'm doing my part in the lettuce, water and exercise thing by taking my power walk/jog on the gravel road on which 4 families (including mine), many goats, dogs, cats and chickens live. I often do this, and have done for lo, these many years. Apparently, the chickens have had enough of me.I'm no stranger to chickens, having kept 17 of our own right here at Nestlewood. But all the stray dogs, weasels and fox around here polished them off for their morning or afternoon meals one by one, and we decided not to get anymore because Chris is a freak about the bird flu (don't ask).
There are always a couple of roosters who flap their wings at me while I walk and do their "Rrrr-rr-rrr-rrrrr". (Roosters do not say cocka doodle doo. I have no idea from whence this legend came) I always ignore the roosters because I know how they can be. They all have Little Man Syndrome, with the one who is not the dominant in the flock being especially touchy. He wants to prove his cockiness at every opportunity.
I am walking, and he crows at me, but I'm used to this. This time, just to be friendly and to let him know that I think he is just as manly as the rooster who is servicing all the hens up the gravel road, I said "Hi chick chick". Oh, my Mother Teresa in diamonds and fur!!! He came after my ass! He raised up his wings ( to get better aerodynamics I suppose) and ran his little rooster legs as fast as they would go. I started running full out, screaming and running! I'm halfway thinking about my Red Belt in Tung Soo Do and that surely I can take him out, but I'm just too scared to stop running and get into an effective front stance. Every time I would glance over my shoulder (while still running and screaming) that Mother Scratcher would still be chasing me!
Tomorrow, when I take my walk, I'm either taking a weapon or a stronger constitution.
9 comments:
*falls out of her chair laughing*
I suppose one advantage to living in the 'bubs is I don't have chickens chasing my ass when I do venture out.
Huck has a sling shot, doesn't he? That oughta work jes fine.
LOL! Awwww, just weapon next time!
In Spain they teach us that roosters say "coco-ri-co" never heard one say that either... "Ku-kere-ku" is what I learned in France. Which I can hardly pronounce as is!
Throw an egg at him and yell, "Yo mama!"
Love the mental pic of you running from Cornelius (your previous kitch of the week) :D
If you were chased by a hen, you could've called it a "Mother Clucker" :D
My money's on you sister! I think you can take that rooster! Or scream like a girl, trying.
I could have used you this morning. Glad that you're none the worse for wear!
LOL! when he comes after you again, I recommend the crane stance and an effective pose. With you acting like another bird about 20 times his size that ought to scare the chicken shit right out of him. If that doesn't work I reccomend you just ring his neck and make some soup out of him.
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